Paganism and its Obsession with the Gender Binary

     This post is in no way representative of all of Paganism. It just deals with my own opinions, experiences, and feelings.
       The gender binary is deeply ingrained within Paganism. There is the god and the goddess. They are the divine masculine and the divine feminine. You can also find divine masculine energy and divine feminine energy within yourself. People who identify as men are expected to align themselves with the divine masculine. People who identify as women are expected to align themselves with the divine feminine. This is a simplification of course, but I think you know what I mean.
       What do you do if you don't identify with either? I am biologically female. I don't identify as a man. I also don't identify as a woman. It's not that I reject the label. It just doesn't feel right. I don't connect with the definition of woman that is being used.
       In most cases feminine energy is seen as intuitive, creative, and motherly while masculine energy is methodical and a provider. I, at times, exhibit both of those energies. I think most people do. However, that isn't what gets me about the feminine definition. It's the emphasis on being a mother, menstruation, and fertility. I don't see menstruation as an integral part of my self identity. It's just something that happens. I am not defined by my reproductive organs. I also have no desire to be a mother. Sure, some people say that the term mother isn't necessarily referring to having children. It could represent creating anything, be it art or writing or anything. I disagree. I do not "give birth" to my writing. That is not a metaphor I am comfortable using. I work, often methodically, to create it.
       This is why I reject the idea of the triple goddess. Maiden, mother, crone just doesn't describe me and I feel kind of offended that it is assumed that it should. Yet, it represents the divine feminine, present within all women. So I must not be a woman, right?
       My only other option is being a man. No, that's not right either. There is too much to claiming a gender that isn't biologically my own to just do it because it's the other option. People I know would expect me to cut my hair short and dress in men's clothing, to fit the stereotypical idea of a man, because in society the stereotype is the definition. That's not me. I like dresses, eyeliner, and long hair. Therefore I can't be your stereotypical man.
       So, I'm nothing. I'm neither. I'm both, or I'm somewhere in between. This is fine for me. I don't care. It doesn't effect me in my day to day life because to me labels don't matter. That is why I am Post Modern Sexual. Labels are meaningless to me. (Yes, it's ironic that I'm using a label for my sexual orientation that means I don't like labels.)
       But they matter to others. Some pagan events are open to "self-identified men" or "self-identified women". I am neither. I could go to the women's one and pretend it felt right. They'd never know but I wouldn't be comfortable. For me, doing both would be best. I want to participate but I fear they wouldn't understand. As it is I'm stuck doing neither.
       I found this yesterday. It's a decent example. The Fathers of Change and The Mothers of a New Time are doing a wonderful thing where they try to change the world for the better by doing rituals every full and new moon. In these men connect to the energy of the god and women connect to the energy of the goddess to bring change. I want to be a part of things like this, but I feel like I can't because I don't feel like a man or a woman by their definitions. I'm stuck on the sidelines watching, a neutral party in a community that doesn't accept you unless you pick sides. It's really lonely in the middle.
       I wonder if this is because I'm a nonhuman trying to fit in the human definitions of gender.

Forst Elves-A Pair of Beautiful Youtube Musicians

       I recently came across a YouTube Channel by the name of Forest Elves. I listened to one song (Cry of the Forest) and immediately subscribed. Their music is enchanting, and the vocals are just perfect. Jordi's (the male singer's) voice in particularly really resonates with me as elven. I'm not sure why. I've read some elven otherkin say they heard or watched something and it just felt right. I guess this is like that.
       Other than that, I don't have a lot to share right now. I have other stuff I should be doing. I have a post or two planned soon.

I've been tagged!

       I am a bad blogger. I announce that I am back and then...do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
       Nonetheless, I have been tagged. Thank you Cherish from Babybat's Blog.

Rules

• Thank the person who tagged you for this challenge and post a link to their blog.
• Tag 5 blogs with less than 200 followers.
• Wish them to tag more bloggers to help keep this thing going!

5 Things You Need Everyday

1. Time and stuff to read. It's one of my favorite things to do.
2. In a related note, my library card. Yes, I go to the library enough for this to be an everyday need.
3. Sunblock. I love being outside and gardening, but I don't really want to burn or tan. Speaking of gardening...
4. A shovel. I may or may not be responsible for certain incedinces of guerrilla gardening in my area. Everyone needs some flowers in their life.
5. My yoga ball. It's the most comfortable place to sit that has ever existed.

5 Books You Would Recommend

1. Everyday by David Levithan. This mirrors some of my own thoughts about sexuality. It follows the life of a character who wakes up in a different body everyday.
2. A Field Guide to Otherkin by Lupa. If you are curious about otherkin at all, you really need to read this.
3. Anything and everything by the Silver Elves. The Silver Elves are some of the first people to publicly call themselves elves and their books are wonderful.
4. The Woman in the Wall by Patrice Kindl. A young girl constructs secret passages in her house and lives there. I just really like the idea of it.
5. The Tree Shepherd's Daughter series. Of course I had to mention a series with elves. What did you expect?

5 Materialistic Wishes For Christmas Presents

1. An elven star pendant.
2. Dark green nail polish, because I go through it so quickly.
3. Black shoe polish. Boots are good for climbing, but it scuffs them up.
4. Elf ear cuffs, possibly like these.
5. Vegetables or herbs to plant in my garden.

5 Places You Wish To Visit

1. Stonehenge
2. The pyramids
3. Paris
4. Any place with a goth festival or otherkin gathering
5. Ireland

5 Adjectives That Describe You

1. unusual
2. quiet
3. mischevious
4. crafty
5. adventurous

 5 Things You'd Say to People About Life

1. Be who you actually are. You are who you are and you like what you like for a reason. Embrace it.
2. Even if you can't publicly talk about your quirks, find a way to express them, be it through writing, drawing, or whatever you like. That's kind of what this blog is supposed to be if I ever actually post regularly.
3. On the other side of that, recognize and accept that not everyone is going to be like you.
4. Do something just because it's awesome, nice, and amazing. (glamour bombs anyone?)
5. We only have one Earth. Seriously. Take care of it. Go plant something or...something.

 Tag, you're it!
Hmm...I don't know many blogs. I would if I actually spent more time online, but technology sometimes makes me a bit uncomfortable. I'd love to link to other elven bloggers, but as it is I haven't found any active ones. Here's some other people though:

1.  Solomon Terra (I don't know if this is the kind of thing they'd be interested in, but I picked them because I want to spread awareness of their blog.)
2. Yeshe Rabbit
3. Fire Lyte
4. Maiingan
5. Neferet

The goth blogging community seemed pretty well covered, so I branched out. The first one is about, well, aliens, and the others are pagan blogs.